Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
