I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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