apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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