god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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