You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
