I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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