yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
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