You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
