apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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