If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm bleeding and have questions
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
