Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just found a bag of teeth...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
