The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
