I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
