he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
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it's like heaven, but drunker
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
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two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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