It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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