Sponge bath it is.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
