No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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