so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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