I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
