as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
love makes seman taste better
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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