She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
When are your genitals available?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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