I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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