after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
