i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
