i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
