I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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