Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
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judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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