Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Damn victory sex feels great
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