Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
