I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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