I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
