Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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