If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
