My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
