he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
try to milk me bitch
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
