Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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