He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
