I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
