He is an equal opportunity slut.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
