just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
