just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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