If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
