addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
