i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
