i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
