Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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