Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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