Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
