chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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