kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I could make wine with my vomit
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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