Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
