I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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