dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
