woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
