It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
