Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
