he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Dicks are not precious.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
