nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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