last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
