yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
