I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
