Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
